Forever Changed

Lying in bed, watching tv, I didn’t take notice until probably the third helicopter flew over my house. As I got ready to call it a night, I heard a couple more and I knew something was wrong. I felt my stomach drop. I checked the pulse point app and saw the words I was dreading- “multiple casualty incident”. I didn’t even need to open the map to know it was at Borderline. I just knew. I immediately turned on the news and sure enough, there it was. The headline read “Mass Shooting at Borederline Nightclub in Thousand Oaks”. I read and reread the words through tears. I watched people running from the bar. I watched people be reunited with their loved ones. I watched people search for their friends. I checked on everyone I knew who could have been there. They were all accounted for. I wasn’t a frequent patron of Borderline, I’d only been a few times. Each time was a Wednesday night. You can’t help but think about how it could have been you. Then you feel guilty for letting your mind go there when these innocent people have just gone through the most horrific thing people can go through. They’re still coming out of the building. I’m watching parents who haven’t heard from their children and patrons who can’t find the friends they got separated from. My heart is broken watching them lose hope. I will never be able to feel anything close to what the people who were there felt, but even those of us who stayed in that night were forever changed. We are a strong community and an even stronger country family. Every time I drive past another Borderline Strong or 805 Strong car decal I just want to give the driver a hug. You survivors are immeasurably strong. Your friends are not forgotten. We are Thousand Oaks Strong.

Anonymous