My Journey of 12 Days

When tragedy happens in the middle of everyday life it can cause a lot of unusual automatic responses. 

I was in Redding, California finishing at the Sozo Summit, an Inner Healing Conference with Bethel Church, when my stepdaughter’s post about Borderline came in on my phone. I was to have a play day near Shasta the next morning, but everything changed with that news. 

God bless Southwest Airlines, who moved my flight forward so I could be with my grieving community. I called ministry partners to put together a worship night. I prayed as I drove the 2½ hours from Redding to Sacramento, and yes, I drove right by the Paradise fire. I saw a huge black curtain of cloud not knowing what I was seeing. I was on a mission to move my community toward healing. All hands-on deck!

Then…fire. What? Denny picked me up at the airport and the gridlock to get home prevented us from attending the prayer vigil. I was crushed, and angry. Who or what is doing this to the community I love?

The practical side of me kicked in. I don’t want the call at 2 am, can we evacuate early to friends? We did. I didn’t even unpack from being gone most of the week. We gathered our computers, important papers, and a few things. And yes, we would have been evacuated at 2:30. Listen to the inner voice you have that is moving you towards safety. Trust the God in you to move you into wisdom. 

Friends, that is a huge part of the Borderline, Hill and Woolsey traumas. Banding together in times of need. We quickly realized our friends’ home was in jeopardy too. My stepson and his girlfriend and their dogs evacuated to her parents in Ventura. Ok, that seemed safer. We found refuge at a hotel. Family, dinner with the kids. That was an unexpected blessing. Heard plans of their upcoming trip. Hope. Life. That was good. Trauma happens in the middle of everyone’s daily lives. Sometimes there are moments of joy, sometimes it is a stress that pushes you too far. Watch your heart. Guard your heart with all diligence. 

Problems at the hotel sent us home sooner than we planned. I got home to see a procession of cars draped in American flags going up and down my street. Little did I know one of the slain only lived a few doors from me. Neighbors. I spent time talking to my neighbors. Bonding with people I live next door to. Beauty for ashes. Community. So important. 

Worship singing – we need to sing. We couldn’t have the time at Awakened to Life Center as all of Westlake was on mandatory evacuation. We went to our own church family and banded together praying for one another. Singing. Healing. Worship is healing. Late in the afternoon we were able to get to the center. Yuck. SMOKE SMELL. Diffusing oils – we are temple keepers. Space matters. Home matters. But really, where is home?

I had to decide—am I really at home in Jesus’ heart, or am I more tied to this earth? I believe He cares about space. He is very particular about how the temple is to look. Now He dwells in me. I need to take care of me and my family and our team. I need to be aware of both physical space and my body which is God’s temple. Both are true. 

More community. We went to Monte Vista Presbyterian to listen to a lecture on trauma. It was so informative, and the presenter, a pastor, and trauma expert had a very soothing demeanor. Community. Did I mention community. IMPORTANT!

Caring for others. We opened on Monday. People came. I took private sessions during the week. Lives transformed. Process. Process and love are important. The artist who painted Beauty of Ashes released life in the midst of pain. We can expect to heal. 

Then the bees came. We need bees. But in my backyard, in my butterfly bush. Too many, too close. Yikes! What I didn’t know was they fled their homes too. They swarm around their queen and provide a community shield for what matters most to them. They only stayed a few days, long enough to gather up a plan and off they went. Not leaving a trace. WOW! Can we be that? A place of solace, protection care for someone as they process what’s next. Be a safe place for someone. 

Be graceful with each other. Your body may be tired. Feed it proper food. Give it rest. Exercise. Your body houses your soul and your spirit. Take care of what God has given you. You battle wisely when you care for your body your soul and your spirit. We, like God, are triune beings. Self-care is part of healing. Be aware that people process differently. Don’t judge their process. Expect emotions to be raw. Get good information so you can choose to do your life in wisdom. 

On Saturday we had a funeral to attend and a 50th birthday party to go to. Wow. I found that in the middle of tears there needs to be times of joy. Listening to stories of two lives lived well. One no longer here, one alive and vibrant. Tell people you appreciate them. Let them know that who they are in your world is making a positive impact on you. Don’t wait until they are gone, that won’t encourage them. Tell people you love them. The day before we drove two hours to have dinner with close friends. The time together was precious. We ate and yes, we worshipped together in a house designed to be a concert hall. The sound was divine. The communion with friends…absolutely priceless. 

The expert on trauma told us that one trauma incident will take a community 24 to 60 months to heal. We have had double trauma here in the Conejo. It will take us time to unpack everything. People who were displaced are coming home. Get your air filters changed in your home and car. People have clean-up and repairs. Some lost everything. Contractors can be a challenge. When in short supply everything takes longer. Be patient with yourself and others. 

Band together like the bees. Love well. Worship. Sing. Release love, it is the highest frequency and will help you heal. 

If you listened to the end, God bless you. I hope and pray this helps someone.

Jill R.