Disbelief

Its Wednesday night Nov 7th. I'm home from work early and thinking about hitting borderline. I'm only a 1/4 mile away and it's easy to relax there. But I'm thinking I'm feeling sick. Maybe next time.
Little did I know- that may have saved my life.
I wake up the next day and theres hundreds of notifications on my phone. People texting me if I'm ok and where am I? I stare at the headline of a local Facebook page where I get my news-
Shooting at Borderline
At first I dont believe it. Must be some other bar. Theres no way a shooting can be here. Not in Thousand Oaks. Its T.O. one of the safest towns in America. Can't have a shooting here.
But i read more and more, remembering that for a credible report there should be 3-5 sources. I find about a dozen.
As I'm telling people I'm ok and asking about others I learn a friend of mine I looking for his friend. I decide that I'm not going to work and start asking around. A few hours later I hear that shes one of the victims. Noel Sparks.
I didnt even know her and I start crying. The more names released and it just gets worse. My head is just spinning with the absolute shock. A mass shooting. In Thousand Oaks of all places. It cant be.
But it is. It was.
Then the fires came. And I decided to do what I could. My work is closed because it's in the evacuation zone and I fill up a truck with my parents.we take everything we can- food, water, blankets as much as we can to the Teen Center over the next few days.
During all this- I'm supposed to run a charity event for diabetes. And people are asking is it cancelled is it rescheduled. What's going on? I want to stop and just ignore everybody. Shootings. Fires. It's too much h. But I'm reminded how much help I can do. I'm still here. My family is safe. My house isnt on fire. I'm not a victim of a psycho shooter. I tell everyone I can- the event is on. Were going to have this if it's safe. And the fire was out where we were hosting it in Newbury Park. At the event- we held a moment for the victims lost and prayed for the firefighters still fighting. Because that's what we can do. Its unbelievable that this happened even months later but were stronger then any shooter or fire. We can still fight and help and support. So that's what I do. That's what we all do. There isnt a day that goes by where I dont drive by Borderline and remember what happened. I see the stickers everyday and the support in every post about it. Thousand Oaks joined the list of mass shootings but it's still here, it's still strong. As hard as it is, T.O isnt giving up. Not then. Not now. Not ever.

Anonymous