Shattered

I remember that day as if it happened yesterday. Every detail. Every emotion. The shooting, the fires and a personal encounter made that a day that will be etched on my heart for a lifetime. I am an educator and many of my students were excited and planning to attend a birthday party at Borderline that night. The location was selected because it was "fun" and "safe". I remember a student telling me how cool it was to have such a great place close by versus having to drive into L.A. where it was "dangerous". I remember the joy and anticipation of my students to go hang out and celebrate a friend.
Later that same day, I remember driving to a home hospital location after my teaching day. I encountered a grieving parent at home because they had been impacted by the news of the deputy who had been shot and they were very upset. The downed deputy had helped this parent in the past when they were a teen and had made many poor choices. It turns out the home I was sent to had a history of violence and the deputy saved me too by having the grieving parent present at the home. It would have been me and a dangerous student alone otherwise. I did not return to that location after that night and I prayed for the deputy's family on my way home. Even in his death, he had saved another person. I cannot even grasp what could have happened if the parent had not been home and I had walked into such a dangerous situation with a potentially armed and mentally unstable individual.
After I returned to my car, I listened to the police update at Borderline. I remember that the fires were raging that night and I was not sure how I was going to get home. I decided to pull into Denny's in Moorpark and what I saw was humanity at its best. People were supporting one another. People were sharing chargers, hugging strangers and reaching out to those who could not wrap their heads around the events happening. Our lives, as we knew them were shattered. Our innocence of how Thousand Oaks was a place were we felt "safe" was taken from us. We all knew someone either at Borderline and/or being evacuated from the horrific fires. A CLU student was lost that night at Borderline as well. My heart broke because I knew of him and I could not even begin to know how the family must be feeling. My son attended CLU with him. In the midst of the shooting I had families evacuating from the the fires as well. It was a night that would not end. I recall driving home on Santa Rosa Rd, and as the flames lapped both sides of the road I remember trying to focus on the police car that was escorting us through the flames. Then my mind drifted back to my students. Were they safe? Did they change plans? Were they present when the shooter was there? My heart was aching. Yes, that night at Borderline changed my students for the rest of their lives. The following day my students shared how they had escaped through a broken window. One of the students had the inspiration to break the glass to get people out of the building and away from the shooter. I am soo very thankful that the student had the presence of mind to stay calm and get people out. Our sense of security has not been the same since that day. I grew up in Thousand Oaks and love it there. It will always be home. But the blind sense of security is gone. We have all been shattered...

Bridgette C.